All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin

Cerner is a company that just celebrated its 20th anniversary in 1999.

It is the Christmas time: And up and down 'twixt heaven and earth, In glorious grief and solemn mirth, The shining angels climb.

Every moment of your life, including this one, is a fresh start.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

I wonder about economic sanctions, though, since that is a way that states engage in boycotts against one another.

Everyone’s competing for a love they won't receive.

Meditation is a rich and powerful method of study for anyone who knows how to examine his mind.

In her lived an innocence of soul of which she seemed unaware.

The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.

Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few.