All mothers are working mothers.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Love is not all about loving everything perfect, it is when someones corrosive nature is the only thing that glues you to them which you wished it were never there.

And yet, wasn't the terrific thing about stories the fact that they joined readers together, that they made people realize they were not alone in their hopes, dreams, and fears?

Time heals everything. Sometimes you have to go through that pain and heartbreak so that you can get to the other side and come out on top.

I was never my own type so I completely missed my beauty all through my youth.

We're making progress. Our military is assisting in Iraq. And we're hoping that within the year we'll be able to push ISIS out of Iraq and then, you know, really squeeze them in Syria.

What love it to me...is his happiness. I'm not like you where I fall in love so I can be happy. All I need is for him to be smiling.

The second you realize you're not alienated, that makes you empowered.

Christianity is not a theory or speculation, but a life; not a philosophy of life, but a life and a living process.

Winning the war of words inside your soul means learning to defy your inner critic.

Parents don't make mistakes because they don't care, but because they care so deeply.