All music is the blues. All of it.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

You must take life the way it comes at you and make the best of it.

We live, we love, we let it go.

You must consciously and carefully write out a plan of achieving your goals

To give your dream an honest try, is to persist and persevere for however long that it would take for it to meet its point of reality.

I don't want your love unless you know I am repulsive, and love me even as you know it.

Well, in order to become a grown man, in order to become significant in my family and significant in my children's life, I had to learn my lessons.

I talk, watch TV, spout opinions, schmooze, negotiate, talk some more, play games, and have a little cocktail.

I hope there's pudding!

It's a mystery to me what makes people laugh.

I sometimes fancy," said Hilda, on whose susceptibility the scene always made a strong impression, "that Rome--mere Rome--will crowd everything else out of my heart.