All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing in the bread line - right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.

You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can do only one thing to make it dirty: kill it. Hiroshima was dirty.

Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.

There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.

There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.

I had no precise plan when I started 'Electronica, ' but I think it has been a very positive journey for me.

Don't even mention losing to me. I can't stand to think of it

Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, "being a humorist" gives you a valid excuse to hide from your pain.

You win any which way you can. You do what you have to do to get by. That's the way it works in any job.

Yet while on my trip to the Middle East, the London bombings occurred. This was yet another stark reminder that if we don't fight terrorists abroad, they just get closer to our home.

Openness of mind strengthens the truth in us and removes the dross from it, if there is any.

In the real world, immeasurable hurt is caused by terrorists based in Pakistan who attack countries like India.

John McCain has already tapped me.

I'm more than just a piece in their Games.