All my life I wanted to be a bank robber. Carry a gun and wear a mask. Now that it's happened I guess I'm just about the best bank robber they ever had. And I sure am happy.

We're having too good a time today. We ain't thinking about tomorrow.

Never trust a woman or an automatic weapon.

I don't drink much and I smoke very little. I guess my only bad habit is robbing banks. Now you see, fellas, I ain't such a bad guy at heart.

You can get more with a simple prayer and a Thompson sub-machinegun than you can with a simple prayer alone.

My buddies wanted to be firemen, farmers or policemen, something like that. Not me, I just wanted to steal people's money!

A jail is just like a nutshell with a worm in it, the worm will always get out.

I rob banks for a living. What do you do?

Before you rob your first bank, knock off a couple of gas stations.

Lie down on the floor and keep calm.

Love is the soul of a divine being.

Life is exactly what you make it

Seek those who find your road agreeable your personality and mind stimulating your philosophy acceptable and your experiences helpful. Let those who do not seek their own kind.

I'm terrified of being bored and not learning.

Figure out what fuels your joy, then do lots of that

Religion is the retarded stepchild of philosophy.

I never met the second happiest man, or the first happiest man, so I can't judge where I fall into that category.

Human beings are like timid punctuation marks sprinkled among the incomprehensible sentences of life.

I take time with each person and try to remember them, especially if they're a repeater from another event. I know a lot of authors just sign a book and keep their heads down, but I'm not like that.

If I'm staying in a hotel or I'm sleeping on my own I have the hairdryer on.