All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines

I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.

Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.

If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word.

I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.

I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.

Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.

Innovations succeed when failure is seen as a learning step to great success.

Make the most of your day, today. Tomorrow morning again begin with 'today

Whoever says that all music is prohibited, let him also claim that the songs of birds are prohibited.

I love Adele, I want her to be my best friend. She could come to the U.S., live with me and sing to me every morning.

You have to believe in yourself. That's the secret.

I do abs every day: regular, weighted crunches and sit-ups every other day, then my obliques and my sides on the alternating day. So I’m working my core every day.

In my career, I'm very grateful for the opportunities.

People write to me all the time, and I write back.

To be truly seen and understood - in all our innocence and glory and yes, our brokenness, too - is to be delivered into the spiritual ethers where both seen and seer are healed.

If you are obliged to neglect any thing, let it be your chemistry. It is the least useful and the least amusing to a country gentleman of all the ordinary branches of science.