All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditions for other things besides just cartoon shows.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

There is no strong beer, just weak men

Peace is one of the most obvious earmarks of the authority of Christ.

She reminded me of a darkness, a darkness that I've missed.

Autumn arrives in early morning, but spring at the close of a winter day.

Lots of times you can feel as an exile in a country that you were born in.

As a singer I tried on all these hats, these voices, these clothes, and eventually out came me.

We're the tortoise that has outrun the hare because it chose the easy predictions.

When I feel like my body is exhausted, I focus on making my fifth Olympic team so I can push through it.

Survival is the main objective. There are going to be some awful days, I know that from my background in the sport.

I took the repeal of the Corn Laws as light amusement compared with the difficult task of inducing the priests of all denominations to agree to suffer the people to be educated.