All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

We are sustained by spiritual fire.

It's time I stopped looking for men and time I start looking for me. Then I'll find the happiness I've always wanted.

I am the people the mob the crowd the mass. Do you know that all the great work of the world is done through me?

This work is a torture on the rump but a joy to the heart.

Everyone who deals with teens seems to agree that the most important and toughest job is staying in connection and conversation ... not delivering a lecture but saying what we think.

There's a saying I read recently; I painted it on the fireplace and in my studio: "Be kind to everyone you meet, for everyone is fighting a great battle." We all are. Everyone.

If you go into a store, with a gun, and rob it, you have forfeited your right to not get shot

Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.

I didn't know the word no, because I wanted to please everybody all the time. Every kid does

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.