All office workers are afraid of being late for work.

In history as in human life, regret does not bring back a lost moment and a thousand years will not recover something lost in a single hour.

Truth to tell, we are all criminals if we remain silent.

It is never until one realizes that one means something to others that one feels there is any point or purpose in one's own existence.

Freedom is not possible without authority - otherwise it would turn into chaos and authority is not possible without freedom - otherwise it would turn into tyranny.

All I know is that I shall be alone again. There is nothing more terrible than to be alone among human beings.

There is nothing more vindictive, nothing more underhanded, than a little world that would like to be a big one.

In history, the moments during which reason and reconciliation prevail are short and fleeting.

Only the misfortune of exile can provide the in-depth understanding and the overview into the realities of the world.

Only the person who has experienced light and darkness, war and peace, rise and fall, only that person has truly experienced life.

Hairdressers are professional gossips; when only the hands are busy, the tongue is seldom still.

This living in a democracy is a problem, isn't it?

The reason there's so much ignorance is that those who have it are so eager to share it.

Writing eases my suffering . . . writing is my way of reaffirming my own existence.

Before we are forgotten, we will be turned into kitsch. Kitsch is the stopover between being and oblivion.

Really, more than anything, The 2000 Year Old Man is a huge influence on all of our comedy, but specifically the live version of Oh, Hello.

Im working on a bunch of things with my daughter Emily. In some ways, shes a smarter and better editor than I am.

Shania Twain ... has done more for country and western than heartbreak and whiskey combined.

There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared.

Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already I am.

What man's life is not overtaken by one or more of those tornadoes that send us out of the course, and fling us on rocks to shelter as best we may?