All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

I loved books, even as I loved the similar way opium had of transporting a mind elsewhere

Learn to absorb your anger inside youIt will be your best partner till you breath

I have always considered David Hume as approaching as nearly the idea of a perfectly wise and virtuous man as perhaps the nature of human frailty will allow.

A writer’s brain is like a magician’s hat. If you’re going to get anything out of it, you have to put something in it first

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.

I like my women very green; you know, eco-friendly.

There is no way you can use the word “reality” without quotation marks around it.

Three things know a secret- First; the lady in a dream, The dog that barks no warning, And a maid that does not scream.

I never thought about extending the promotions. Maybe I've matured but I feel that a shorter and more powerful promotion is better.

You should avoid hedging, at least that's what I think. You should be ashamed to die until you've made some contribution to mankind.