All the clothes in my closet are Oakland, California, clothes. You can't wear those anywhere else. The barometric pressure drops and then where are you?

You are a person and then you cease to be a person, and a cadaver takes your place.

I dont fear death so much as I fear its prologues: loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation, depression, senility. After a few years of those, I imagine death presents like a holiday at the beach.

I began thinking about my skeleton, this solid, beautiful thing inside me that I would never see.

Instead, I quietly excused myself and went to the bar, to commune with spirits I know how to relate to.

The suffix 'naut' comes from the Greek and Latin words for ships and sailing. Astronaut suggests 'a sailor in space.' Chimponaut suggests 'a chimpanzee in sailor pants'.

Bodily fluids and solids are universally the most disgusting things we as human beings can come upon, but as long as they are inside us, it's part of you.

Sexual desire is a state not unlike hunger.

Many people will find this book disrespectful. There is nothing amusing about being dead, they will say. Ah, but there is.

Gravity disappears again, and we rise up off the floor like spooks from a grave. It's like the Rapture in here every thirty seconds.

The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.)

Life is a memory, then it is nothing. All law is writ in a seed.

God sent his Singers upon earth With songs of sadness and of mirth That they might touch the hearts of men And bring them back to heaven again.

I love playing females that are put into these pressure-cooker situations, but they're real. I didn't want to be this kind of Lara Croft superwoman.

Once upon a time people talked about the infallibility of the pope; today it is that of the merchant which they wish to establish.

I think there is a part of life that I'm missing.

I watch CNN, it's so much anger and hatred and just the hatred.

Forgive and forget, but never forget to forgive. You may find a happier heart is the key to a happier life.

I'm a vampire, idiot. I don't have x-ray vision." "Some supernatural monster you are, remind me to trade you in for a werewolf, bro. Probably be more useful right now.

A book is a loaded gun in the house next door...Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man?

To green our country, regular people will have to put on hard hats and work boots, roll up their sleeves - and get to work.