All the heat should come my way

I kind of think we have too many guns in this country.

Don't chase women, they will chase you. They are like horses in a pasture: if you don't go drooling over her, she is going to want to know why.

I think that variety is the key to our success. It is what makes us [artists] different, and long may that continue.

I want to interview the most important people in the world and have everyone in America the next day going, 'Did you see that?'

There is a type of snobbish, pompous journalist who thinks that the only news that has any validity is war, famine, pestilence or politics. I don’t come from that school.

What is it about this ideological dream of the right to bear arms that overrides any other rights, I mean the rights to not have your children killed at school?

That amazing moment when your crush has a crush on you. It's a wonderful feeling knowing that the person who you want to be in a relationship with likes or loves you back.

I'd swap everything I've done in my miserable little life to bat like Virender Sehwag

Bill O'Reilly is like a comfortable pair of shimmeringly angry slippers, but you know every night what you're going to get.

Can we rename [Taylor Swift] Pinocchio Swift?

Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton.

There is no inconsistency when God raises up those who have fallen prostrate.

If you are blaming the oppressed rather than the oppressor you know that something is wrong.

Please write music like Wagner, only louder.

Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas.

Hell is an idea first born on an undigested apple dumpling.

People shouldn't really have to think about an object when they are using it. Not having to think about it makes the relationship between a person and an object run more smoothly.

It's a very special thing when you go and get to work with your best friend every day.

The further along we get on our life journey the more we wonder about those who traveled before us and paved the road.

If you'd like to reach me, leave me alone.