All the higher life forms scythed away, just like that. [ . . . ] Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

They all had darkened eyes, eyes that seemed to have a hunger behind them. Borne out of the private convulsions only secret passions can provoke.

Well the sun’s the light of everything, ya know?” She said. “Without it, everything would be dark. We wouldn’t have anything. Everything needs a little light to exist. Even darkness.

Oftentimes I think it is far better to listen for an answer, rather than talk out of an effort to create one.

Remember, it’s the pace that kills, never the distance.

The hallmark of a person who is following the pathway to enlightenment is that they bring excellence into everything, no matter how crappy they feel.

There are two ways in which a science develops; in response to problems which is itself creates, and in response to problems that are forced on it from the outside.

We gain our ends only with the laws of nature; we control her only by understanding her laws.

We need to expand Social Security to prevent the looming retirement crisis, and we can do it simply by asking billionaires to pay their fair share.

I'm excited we can be part of making the death penalty history.

If you can't stop thinking about your job, in a positive way that energizes you, then you're probably where you're meant to be.