All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Using for a noble purpose is still using.

Each community has a curious and distorted image of itself which is always flattering.

To cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always.

Standing in public in other people's clothes, pretending to be someone else. It's a strange way for a grown man to make a living.

I was commanding officer of a supersonic fighter squadron, F-8 Crusaders.

Retention of operational control of its air is important to the Corps' air-ground team, as air constitutes a significant part of its offensive firepower.

I was born into a world of art. I always thought that in life, you breathe, you eat, you go to sleep and you draw.

And the truth of the matter is that death is a mystery to me. I have no opinion on the subject.

We Barbie dolls are not supposed to behave the way I do.

I wasn't ever much of a Yankee fan.