All too many consultants, when asked, 'What is 2 and 2?' respond, 'What do you have in mind?'

Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The other third is covered with auditors from headquarters.

Simply stated, it is sagacious to eschew obfuscation.

Hardware works best when it matters the least.

Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank.

People do not win people fights. Lawyers do.

Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm... gets eaten.

Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases.

One of the most feared expressions in modern times is 'The computer is down.'

Law Number IX: Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent possible to make trivial ideas profound ... Q.E.D.

Success comes not from having certainty, but being able to live with uncertainty.

People are strange when you're a stranger.

I am a big believer in education, because when I grew up in Austria - when I grew up in Austria I had a great education. I had great teachers.

A man will be as much of a gentleman as a woman requires.

But I want to tell my stories, more than that, I have to in order to stay sane.

Will we ever reach a point when it is no longer necessary to say Them and Us? I believe we must reach that point, or perish.

I don't really judge. To each his own. You like what you like.

Everything which is done in the present, affects the future by consequence, and the past by redemption.

Weather in Afghanistan, 2000 degrees and cloudy. What the f-ck am I doing? I'm stuck on the weather channel. AHHH!

This is woman's great benevolence, that she will become a martyr for beauty, so that the world may have pleasure.