All was black, gloomy and awful. There was no light at the end of the tunnel - or if there was, it was an oncoming train.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine. Ain't nowhere else in the world where you can go from driving a truck to cadillac overnight

Stupidity is the chlorine that cleans out the gene pool.

Without Social Security, poverty rates for African American seniors would more than double.

No true Latter-day Saint and no true American can be a socialist or a communist.

If people liked your singing well enough, if you were special to them, then you never left their minds throughout all of the years.

The first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible. What the second duty is no one has as yet discovered.

Spending on the military doesn't increase the deficit.

I love the wry motto of the Paleontological Society, meant both literally and figuratively, for hammers are the main tool of our trade: Frango ut patefaciam - I break in order to reveal.

I've learned so much through life. Starting off in Asia, the cultures, the people you meet, the poverty you see. It's been a great education for me, and I've loved every minute of it.

If I walk in the street in Korea, I am recognized.