Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words!

When you are cursed with a bipolar mind racing thoughts are the ones that you find

I think we deserve a happily-ever-after.""If anyone ever did, it's us.

I'm a competitive person but I have never understood people's competitiveness at the expense of their colleagues.

The only prejudice I've found anywhere in TV is in some advertising agencies, and there isn't so much prejudice as just fear.

Call no day happy 'til it is done; call no man happy til he is dead.

I think health is another exceedingly important thing.

Happiness is a natural state of being.

I have arrived. I am home. My destination is in each step.