Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me

I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified

My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic."

My father is schizophrenia, but he's good people.

So what if I cant spell Armageddon, its not the end of the world.

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

So what if I can't spell Armaggedon? ... it's not the end of the world.

Even though I'm proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear.

You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.

Mistakes are part of life. And yet, for some reason, most parents in this world, wish their children made no mistakes at all, or as little as possible.

Saying of the ProphetDeathDie before your death.

Everyone wants an iPhone, but it would be impossible to design an iPhone in China because it's not a product; it's an understanding of human nature.

Some people probably think of the Resurrection as a desperate last moment expedient to save the Hero from a situation which had got out of the Author's control.

Mormonism is the pure doctrine of Jesus Christ; of which I myself am not ashamed.

I'm constantly reading books on God or the absence of God and atheism.

Finance that only talks to itself & deals with each other becomes socially useless

See who is the subject; and this inquiry leads you to pure Consciousness beyond the subject.

Estragon: What about hanging ourselves? Vladimir: Hmm. It'd give us an erection.

Sometimes the best, and only effective, way to kill an idea is to put it into practice.