Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Never try to outgrow the people who were helping you walk, when you could not even walk.

Four things do not come back: the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity.

Today is hard but who cares, by each hard day we are making stair for us.

A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting.

Sanity - a trick of agreement

It wasn't like a "I know I wanted to do this," I was sort of just - I was five and my dad kinda said hey, you wanna be an actor and I said sure.

I'm the leader of the show, keepin' you on the go, but I know I can't live without my radio.

I was late to the Knicks. My dad was a big fan. But I first started watching baseball; I became a Red Sox fan. My dad was a Mets fan. I wanted to have my own team and league.

Nature gives liberty even to dumb animals.

I don't see democracy getting better. I see democracy diminishing. More rules, more legislation. Eventually governments will see everything.