Always been a big heavy metal fan. I remember being 15 saying, Dude I'm going to love heavy metal forever. Heavy metal til I'm 60. I'm 35 now. I think I'm going to give it one more year.

I do think certain kinds of music can make you violent. Like, when I listen to Nickelback, it makes me want to kill Nickelback.

I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.

Metal is the feeling of being an outsider, but still being part of something huge.

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

Because I go outside sometimes, I'm exposed to terrible, terrible music in public.

Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

I also smoke a lot of pot, occasionally, every day.

My act is pretty much me reflecting on what I want to talk about and what I think is funny and what has happened to me.

As a comic, I used to know more about pop culture.

Our only hope is faith in God.

In the end it's only words, my dear.

Plan to make good choices.

One tends to give one's fingers too little credit for their own good sense.

Sometimes, God is going to have you sow a seed. Sometimes, God is going to have you water a seed that someone else sows. Sometimes, God is going to have you reap where others have sowed and watered.

The engine of the tank is a weapon just as the main-gun.

The discrepancy between American ideals and American practice - between our aims and what we actually do - creates a moral dry rot which eats away at the foundations of our democratic faith.

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.

Originality finds the unexpected but inevitable next step.

You have given me Your love, filling the world with Your gifts.