Always take an extra quarter to the laundry room.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Never trust a woman whose father calls her 'Princess'. Chances are she believes it.

There is no such thing as a self-cleaning oven.

A $20 haircut hardly ever lasts longer than a $5 haircut.

Seek but provision of bread and wine, fools to flatter, and clothing fine; and nothing of God shall ever be thine.

The chief beneficiary of life insurance policies for young, single people is the life insurance agent.

There is nothing personal about a personal ad.

They aren't kidding when they say, "Wash Whites separately.

Hurry up and learn patience.

If you have to learn it from a self-help book, you may be beyond help.

Ah! well away! Seasons flower and fade.

Normally I tell the truth whether it's nice or not.

Proud meaning that... proud means we have to be one till the end eh? Till the end we have to be proud?

In a choice between love and fear, choose love.

When I shop for fruit & melons I like to hold a grape next to a cantaloupe & think of Earth next to Jupiter. Then I eat Earth.

Please stop looking at me, she thought, afraid of his eyes and terrified of her own heart.

My understanding of zombie movies is people rising from the dead, from their graves, stuff like that, and walking very slowly.

Don't criticize in the sack. Discuss constructively later.

I'm very rarely in the gym. My workouts are predominantly outside, in nature.

No sound is dissonant which tells of life.