Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Conan Doyle deluded a century of readers into thinking we're all deductive geniuses.

No one decision in life is so big that you have to live the rest of your life in regret. You can always make a new decision and turn things around.

Man talks about everything, and he talks about everything as though the understanding of everything were all inside him.

Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.

I'm up here in this womb, I'm looking all around. We'll, I'm looking out my belly button window and I see a whole lot of frowns.

Preparedness and punctuality are two of the most important qualities of a leader.

Today was a difficult day. Tomorrow will be better

People get so stressed and nervous and mad.

I did not want to reject religion as nonsense because life seemed to have no ultimate purpose without it, and most of the good people I knew were Christians.

I'm on my way to a place where I'd never dreamed I'd be, and that's perfection.