Am I lying to you if I tell you the same lie I tell myself?

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Scientists are peeping toms at the keyhole of eternity.

We cannot give our hearts to God and keep our bodies for ourselves

When a woman has seen me, as you have, she belongs to me. She loves me forever.

The greatest part of all chronic disease is created by the suppression of acute disease by drug poisoning.

I've seen a lot in my life. I've seen a lot of winning. I've seen a lot of testing times. I think when you're tested, you really find out what you're made of.

When I see two women kissing, my only physical reaction is a strong desire to vomit in both of their mouths.

This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it.

People can help us heal, can give us medicine, advice, many forms of help, but nobody can manage our minds for us.

Boredom and fear keep us working and obeying the laws.

It's hard to be vulnerable in front of the whole world because everyone's a critic.