Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I think that stupidity is like a wild fire burning through the social fabric of an intrinsically reasonable existence.

Mountaineers are one of the few groups to celebrate before the finish line. More mountaineers die on the descent than on the ascent.

I preach there are all kinds of truth, your truth and somebody else's. But behind all of them there is only one truth and that is that there's no truth.

The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.

Simply stated, girls want role models and mentors.

To people who don't know me I'm defined by a number of things that people know about me that are entirely untrue.

It’s not a guy and a girl, or a girl and a girl or a guy and a guy - it’s a relationship.

Apparently Jamie is great at being soft and hard at the same time. Which is hard to do for an actor! He's going to get an Oscar!

I can't give you a brain, but I can give you a diploma.

If we will not interfere with our thought, but will act entirely, or see how the thing stands in God, we know the particular thing, and every thing, and every man.