Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The best way to reduce stress is to know that it is not real

In you lies the courage and perseverance to endure and conquer any battle. But the question is, are your frequent thoughts cheering for your victory or constantly focusing on your weaknesses?

Some of the greatest insights we have ever experienced were those we least expected.

There is no point in asking the universe for love if you cannot love yourself.

The Sandinista government became consumed with fighting a war of survival. They were up against the biggest superpower in the world.

There's been a shift: Country music is popular music now. Every other genre wants to come over to our land.

I never believed in God and I will never believe in it.

You're much shorter than my mom." "Brat," she said, surprised into a giggle. "That's no way to talk to a vampire." "Bloodsucking brat." "Better" he said.

I know sometimes when I go to a convention or a film festival occasionally people bring me really valuable and really rare memorabilia that I have never seen before.

If I swung the gavel the way I swung that golf club, the nation would be in a helluva mess.