America is a great disappointment to me. As I said in one of my books, other societies create civilisations; we build shopping malls.

I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

That's the trouble with losing your mind; by the time it's gone, it's too late to get it back.

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.

Geologists are never at a loss for paperweights.

Of all the things I am not very good at, living in the real world is perhaps the most outstanding.

Physics is really nothing more than a search for ultimate simplicity, but so far all we have is a kind of elegant messiness.

Protons give an atom its identity, electrons its personality.

Why is it, I wondered, that old people are always so self-centered and excitable? But I just smiled benignly and stood back, comforted by the thought that soon they would be dead.

This book was written using 100% recycled words.

When the Illuminati thought of their name, they were hiding in a darkened room with one candle.They are still hiding in that room with the same candle.

Keep a good attitude and do the right thing even when it's hard. When you do that you are passing the test. And God promises you your marked moments are on their way.

Down on your knees, and thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love.

If you take being a father seriously, you'll know that you're not big enough for the job, not by yourself...Being a father will put you on your knees if nothing else ever did.

If you're a man in your twenties or thirties, and you have yet to make your fortune, I would urge you not to get married.

We are animal in our blood and in our skin. We were not born for pavements and escalators but for thunder and mud.

My parents came from a poor background and worked their way up because of education. They saw it as a way to succeed. So they cared about me getting straight A grades when I was growing up.

Make something beautiful before you are dead.

Self worship is different from self love.