America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

The best times we’ve had on earth are usually with those we love.

All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.

The government has a history of not treating people fairly, from the internment of Japanese Americans in World War II to African-Americans in the Civil Rights era.

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge.

Happiness does not await us all. One needn't be a prophet to say that there will be more grief and pain than serenity and money. That is why we must hang on to one another.

If you do not do the thing you fear, the fear controls your life.

I don't hurt the industry. The industry hurts itself, by making so many lousy movies - as if General Motors deliberately put out a bad car.

Self-respect governs morality: respect for others governs our behavior.

If we are to believe or accept that buildings are cultural markers, if architects work in a vacuum with their own preconceptions about society, then we won't be creating appropriate cultural markers.

The inability to hold cash and the pressure to be fully invested at all times meant that when the plug was pulled out of the tub, all boats dropped as the water rushed down the drain.