America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

I was beaten down long ago in some alley in another world.

It's satisfying to put out new music. And I think that's the context in which I'm comfortable revisiting things from the past.

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

And I was crying for gravity. It had sent me down the stairs, and I'd thought that meant something, but maybe it was just the direction that all things tend to flow.

Someone once defined hard work as the accumulation of the easy things you didn't do when you should have.

God does not relish our sufferings, but He delights in our development.

People around me called me an idol, so that's what I was.

I can't do a film if I don't start with the writing.

God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others.

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.