Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

It is a pity that so often the only way to treat girls like people seems to be to treat them like boys.

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

When you feel bored, pump your adrenaline!

Partial knowledge is more triumphant than complete knowledge; it takes things to be simpler than they are, and so makes its theory more popular and convincing.

If you're a good marketing person, you have to be a little crazy.

If you know how to do a job very well, you keep doing it.

Humility may bring you humiliation here on earth, but surely not in heaven.

Life brings you exactly what you need.

People must not think that all bad in man which is unleashed, the moment you impose censorship disappears from man.

Discipline is not punishment. Discipline is changing someone’s behavior.

There's more philosophy in jiu-jitsu mats than in any Ivy League school in America.

[Y]ou can tell a true war story by its absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil.