An Enlightened Master is ideal only if your goal is to become a Benighted Slave.

The function of law and theology are the same: to keep the poor from taking back by violence what the rich have stolen by cunning.

The fear of death is the beginning of slavery.

You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.

You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.

In conlusion, there is no conclusion. Things will go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time.

The rapists of the intellectual world become politicians; the seducers become artists.

Philadelphia merely seems dull because it's next to exciting Camden, New Jersey.

Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

History, sociology, economics, psychology et al. confirmed Joyce's view of Everyman as victim.

My own opinion is that belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.

Faith in God gives boundless hope.

If I have done anything, even a little, to help small children enjoy honest, simple pleasures, I have done a bit of good.

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.

'Project Runway' was my guilty pleasure while my son was napping or nursing.

Prayer is not the answer. God is the answer. Prayer is the vehicle by which we reach God.

Before we decide to trust you with this power, we ask you to stand before the public and explain your views. Justice may be blind, but it should not be deaf.

If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.

Nobody notices your sorrow, your pain, but everyone notices your mistakes.

I guess you'd say, including the - what I just spoke about, the learning that liberalism isn't quite as liberal as it pretends to be.

The illiterate of the future will not be the man who cannot read the alphabet, but the one who cannot take a photograph.