An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity

If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway

Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy

Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what

If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse

Humility makes a man richer than other men, and it makes a man judge himself the poorest among men.

I loved filming in Morocco it was amazing. I'd never been anywhere like that. The culture was phenomenal. I was so blown away by the spirit of that country.

My own funeral, I'd like to be laid out in a coffin in my own house. I would like my coffin to be put in the double parlor, and I would like all the flowers to be white.

I was clinically depressed. I was paranoid. I was agoraphobic. I would have days at a time of not being able to even bathe or brush my teeth.

Neuroscientists are finding that what passes as a typical presentation is usually the worst way to engage your audience.

Economics dominates politics - and with that domination comes different forms of ruthlessness.

There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion.

Philosophers, as things now stand, are all too fond of offering criticism from on high instead of studying and understanding things from within.

Hollywood is an illusion. These intense workplaces, with very close relationships, a few months at a time - and then it ends.

When the soul, through its own fault... becomes rooted in a pool of pitch-black, evil smelling water, it produces nothing but misery and filth.