An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Lovely as the morning

Folks double my age and older often run down a conversation tracking a vanishing world that will, with the passing of their memory, vanish entirely.

Each child is an adventure into a better life - an opportunity to change the old pattern and make it new.

That's when the magic happens- when everyone else is asleep and you're awake thinking about the world as it is, and the world as it could be. Make the most of those moments.

A sunny disposition is worth more than [a monetary] fortune. Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine.

If you want to be the best in your industry you need to have a relentless dedication to your job.

Culturally intelligent innovation begins with changing our impulse from Why can't you see it like I do? to Help me see what I might be missing!

I don't like sitting still at a desk and often conduct business on my Blackberry or in walking meetings.

The height of all philosophy is to know thyself; and the end of this knowledge is to know God.

My life was pouring out my feet and seeping through cracks in the floor; yet still I knelt and did not move, for fear she'd let go my hands. Let me stay, I wanted to beg: Please don't make me go.