An egg cream can do anything. An egg cream to a Brooklyn Jew is like water to an Arab. A Jew will kill for an egg cream. It's the Jewish malmsey.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Any nation that wishes to enjoy the fruits of development and civilization, must follow the golden rules of this scripture as a national policy and culture.

My body is a reflection of who I am.

Never be so busy as not to think of others.

You don't just accidentally show up in the World Series.

Once you have people around you who don't question you, you're in a dangerous place.

For some people, there is no succession plan. They just leave, and there's no getting over it.

The barometer that shows "variable" is an ironic indictment of God.

I don't want to put the world to rights... I just don't like people who put the world to wrongs.

I was a woman before I was an abolitionist. I must speak for the women.

I think I could eat one of Bellamy's veal pies.