An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

I dreamt about you last night and woke up with such a great feeling because I know that you are not just a dream but the reality of my life. -Anonymous#romanceweek

Hazel, like nearly all wild animals, was unaccustomed to look up at the sky. What he thought of as the sky was the horizon, usually broken by trees and hedges.

The cause of the WPK is a sacred historic cause for fully realizing the independence of the masses of the people, the cause of the Juche revolution.

When you're in business, if you have some sort of gimmick it's a huge advantage.

The first car I bought was the most beautiful car I've ever seen. It was secondhand, but I parked it outside of my hotel the day I got it. I sat up all night, just lookin' at it.

Reading was like eating alone, with that same element of bingeing.

I love comics, very much, and I love being alone, but I also love the other part. I love actors, and I love filmed entertainment, and that is not something I plan to turn my back on.

I read your piece on Plato. Holmes, when you strike at a king, you must kill him.

I hate no one, sir. It seems a waste of emotional energy.

And that's what I've learned too: writing is key.