An uncle gave me a side drum and my mother decided I should have lessons.

I used to look at these pictures of trumpeters pointing their instrument to the ceiling. Stunning pictures, but if you play the trumpet and point it upwards, all the spit comes back into your mouth!

I started on the fringes of journalism as a cartoonist on The Daily Mail.

The history of popular music is littered with great partnerships. Rodgers had his Hammerstein, Lennon had his McCartney, and Lloyd Webber had... his photocopier.

Coincidence is a wonderful thing.

Now it's time to play a brand new game called Name That Barcode. Here's the first one: "Thick black, thin white, thick black, thick white, thick black, thin white." OK who's going to identify that?

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything.

In the summer New York was the only place in which one could escape from New Yorkers.

I have never believed that things happen by themselves.

I have to be careful to get out before I become the grotesque caricature of a hatchet-faced woman with big knockers.

Never complain, never explain personal motto of

I don't think all poems need to be written in conversational language - those are often great poems but there should also be poems of incoherent bewilderment and muddled mystery.

Sage?" Adrian lightly touched my arm, and I jumped at the feel of his fingertips against my skin. "You okay?" "I don't know," I said softly. "I just thought of something crazy." "Welcome to my world.

Horror movies are always a solid dollar. But a movie about Groucho Marx is a gamble. These things just are. Doesn't matter who you are.

The world can’t save itself. That’s the message of Christmas.

The USA experiences the crisis of ideological and moral values.