Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

The cautious faith that never saws off a limb on which it is sitting, never learns that unattached limbs may find strange unaccountable ways of not falling.

Look at that sea, girls--all silver and shadow and vision of things not seen. We couldn't enjoy its loveliness any more if we had millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds.

We often call a certainty a hope, to bring it luck.

Information obtained under dubious circumstances cannot play a role in legal proceedings in a constitutional state. But everything that's available must be taken into account in threat prevention.

Priceless things matter not for their value, but because they offer us an enduring reminder of stability and permanence.

And now comes Pete Martell in Twin Peaks and he's just a nice guy.

Irish Alzheimer's: you forget everything except the grudges

Find what it is you love to do and do it well. Make the world a better place.

When orators and auditors have the same prejudices, those prejudices run a great risk of being made to stand for incontestable truths.

Great for good, or great for evil.