And I'm not so in love with making people mad that I want to live my life around it.

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.

I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.

Anyone with a gun can go out and commit an act of terrorism, even without a political affiliation.

When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure.

I want the news delivered unbiased. I thought that was the whole point with journalism.

I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.

I don't want the news to be patriotic. I don't want to see flags on the lapels of the anchors. I don't want any of that.

One, I push my deadlines closer than anybody else, or let's say it this way: I'm really late.

We have to confront the very scary fact that the president is a moron. He's really dumb.

When the news wants to tell you something is important, they put dramatic theme music behind it. They scare you into watching the story.

Note to self: don’t throw things at girls.

Let me tell you one thing about why writers write: had I known the answer to any of these questions I would never have needed to write a novel

In a perverse way, I was glad for the stitches, glad it would show, that there would be scars. What was the point in just being hurt on the inside? It should bloody well show.

Thunder without sound jolted the air around her. The violence of it was magnificent, immaculate, glorious.

Jest when we stopped wanting to kill ourselves, we started to die.

You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.

I don't know what's going to happen. I take it day by day, playing my music.

People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

Children who are readers will develop acceptable levels of literacy.

When I get on a roll with something, it's really hard for me to put it down unfinished.