And all the colors I am inside have not been invented yet.

I asked the Zebra, are you black with white stripes? Or white with black stripes? And the zebra asked me, Are you good with bad habits? Or are you bad with good habits?

When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?

Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.

Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless. Christmas dinner's dark and blue. When you stop and try to see it From the turkey's point of view.

There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.

Never explain what you do. It speaks for itself. You only muddle it by talking about it.

What did the carrot say to the wheat? Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet.

But all the magic I have known I've had to make myself.

I can be someone's and still be my own.

Do a loony-goony dance 'Cross the kitchen floor, Put something silly in the world That ain't been there before.

Individuality should not translate to narcissism. Realizing the strength of individuality is an accomplishment while being narcissistic is a failure.

The dead sit at our tables long after they have gone.

Russia should recognize the freedom of countries, such as Ukraine, to choose their alliances.

I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.

It was rumored she held grudges till they died of old age, then had them stuffed and mounted.

Fraud is the ready minister of injustice.

The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!

Our entire civilization is built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit.

History is a record of perpetual wars, but we are now trying to make new history.

I like my job. That's become very clear to me. I know how to pretend to do things that I otherwise didn't know how to do.