And all the stories had, somewhere, the witch. The wicked old witch. And Tiffany had thought: Where's the evidence?

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Depression isn't a war you win. It's a battle you fight every day. You never stop, never get to rest. It's one bloody fray after another.

Men are born to succeed, not to fail.

Imagination is the gatekeeper of the human soul.

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.

You think that being a girl is degrading, but secretly, you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you?

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

Fate laughs at probabilities.

We have to play as a team at our best every night.

People don't die from the old diseases any more. They die from new ones, but that's Progress, isn't it? Isn't it?

In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.