And even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you don't gotta go to no doctor to get it taken out, whoever shot you will take they bullet back! "I believe you have my property!"

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

I Believe When People Go To Hell, They Relive Their Worst Life Experience, Over And Over Again.

Man, when I'm riding with the helmet on, I'm invisible. And people just deal with me as the guy on the bike... it gives you a chance to read 'em.

The American public really does have a death wish for me. They want me to die. I'm not going to die.

I don't have faith in the Internet, I have faith in people connected through the Internet.

We must learn to understand humanity better so that we can create an environment that is more beneficial to people, more rewarding, more pleasant to experience.

Quantum Leap Thinking [is] an opportunity to get our energy out and target it in the direction of great productivity, leaving us with a feeling of accomplishment.

It's good for people to believe in causes larger than themselves.

Sunlight is like the breath of life to the pomp of autumn.

I'm always an agent or a lawyer or a doctor or a banker. I'm always wearing a tie.

I don't want to judge anybody by wherever they go.