And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.

I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.

I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed.

Emotions is evil. People who make me feel are worse. I take comfort in the stone inside of me. If I don't feel, I don't hurt.

God Himself is not secure having given man dominion over His work.

Time takes all and gives all

Gold is as steady as a rock, a standardbearer by which all currencies can be accurately measured.

I love being in London because it means I am breathing the same air as the Queen.

Peter Sellers constantly reinvented himself.

No one gets to their heaven without a fight...

The most valuable insight on choosing whom to love is to be honest with yourself about the man standing before you.

He who holds the hook is aware in what waters many fish are swimming.