And people in America are very practical people across the political spectrum. Very conservative women want their kids, their daughters taking birth control.

I've waffled before. I'll waffle again.

I still want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks.

I was hoping to get a reception like this, I'd just hoped that it would be on Thursday night instead of Tuesday night.

I'm a committed Christian. I worship in my own way. That's my business. That's not the business of the pharisees who are going to preach to me about what I do and then do something else.

I'm just deeply disappointed that once again we may have to settle for the lesser of two evils.

We know that no one person can succeed unless everybody else succeeds.

I think with a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, you can't play, you know, hide the salami, or whatever it's called.

Tom DeLay ought to go back to Houston where he can serve his jail sentence.

I think the recovery hasn't been stronger because the hole that was dug for President Obama by the Bush administration was far worse than anybody could imagine, first of all.

The Democratic Party, all the candidates from Washington, they all know each other, they all move in the same circles, and what I'm doing is breaking into the country club.

People have to snatch at happiness when they can, in this world. It is always easier to lose than to find...

You two are perfect together. And one day . . . one day your children will change everything.

Experience isn't interesting till it begins to repeat itself-in fact till it does that it hardly is experience.

The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a lot. This isn't just common to me; it's anybody who's funny.

You know, my background, I was at a non-profit for years.

I'd like to see anyone do what I do for one week.

I wanted to tell a story that interested me as much in the telling as in the watching.

Of immortality, the soul, when well employed, is incurious. It is so well, that it is sure that it will be well. It asks no questions of the Supreme Power.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.