And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever.

I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet

If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

The history of saints is mainly the history of insane people.

Obviously, we will respond to the concerns of any member of Congress. The government of Uzbekistan has been a good partner in the war on terrorism.

Skies are crying, I am watching, Catching teardrops in my hands. Only silence, as it's ending, Like we never had a chance. Do you have to make me feel Like there's nothing left of me?

The child needs a helping hand or he'll grow up to be an angry young man some day.

To see the preciousness of all things, we must bring our full attention to life

The leaders of the Taliban said today that killing bin Laden won't solve the problem. But, you know, it couldn't hurt.

The river and the sea can be kings of a hundred valleys, because they lie below them.

When the true qualities of photography are recognized, the process of representation by mechanical means will be brought to a level of perfection never before reached.

I'm just trying to stay aggressive and mix things up enough to be successful.

Small things done consistently, though undramatic, yield more than the large and sporadic.