And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

But, God knows best, I concluded.

GOOD: is when those values that we rate desirable are pertainingBAD: is when those same values are wanting.

No wars are more bitter than those undertaken in the name of religion.

I learned to write by listening to people talk. I still feel that the best of my writing comes from having heard rather than having read.

Our job is to leave the world a little better than we found it. Not the same... not worse... better.

You count up your dead, every one. Always. Recall them, each and all - every face, every heart.

Success often comes to those who dare to act. It seldom goes to the timid who are ever afraid of the consequences.

It's like being in the middle of a tornado. It's like, whooooooosh, you know what I'm saying? It's like Dorothy-you wake up and find yourself in the land of Oz.

The world is a bundle of hay, Mankind are the asses that pull, Each tugs in a different way And the greatest of all is John Bull!

If you're looking for monogamy, you'd better marry a swan.