And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

This is why militarism is a feminist issue, why rape is an environmental issue, why environmental destruction is a peace issue.

My membership has given me everything I've ever wanted.

You cannot see the past that did not happen any more than you can foresee the future.

Revenge is Always Sweet, it's the Aftertaste that's Bitter.

The more a country makes military weapons, the more insecure it becomes: if you have weapons, you become a target for attack.

If you're playing basketball with someone who's better than you, you have to get better or else it's no fun

In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated.

Some days I will be a stuttering apology and you won't know how to handle all the things I've done wrong.

When I play too many video games I begin to feel chubby-minded, caffeinated, bad.

As a believer and a child of the King, to consider casting a vote for someone or for something that would go against what God would vote for ought to be out of the question.