And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

If beauty was in the eye of the beholder, he was going to be one hell of a beholder.

I didn't know I was really alive in this world until I felt things hard enough to kill for 'em...

If we are to be blessed, we must pursue the Giver of blessings.

Pain is an event ... Suffering, on the other hand, is the nightmare reliving of unscrutinized and unmetabolized pain.

This solidity is not true. The apparent solidity is the delusion of the senses and of the self. Everything is made up of infinite, intelligent light.

In life you don't regret the things you do, you regret the things you don't do.

When I talk to teachers they tell me the things they'd most like from any government are a reduction in bureaucracy, support to help ensure good discipline and a reformed Ofsted.

The disinterested imaginative core of mythology is what develops into literature, science, philosophy. Religion is applied mythology.

All is not gold that glitters, Pleasure seems sweet, but proves a glass of bitters

Knowing that you are nothing is Wisdom, Knowing that you are everything is Love.