Angelina Jolie seems like she cries a lot, which puts me off.

I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back.

I was up late last night yapping about the elections on CNN and up early this morning doing the same thing in my daughter's kindergarten class.

The modern tribalism of the left demands that each person choose a group and then agree with everything that group agrees with. And anybody who leaves that group is stoned to death.

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations.

Anybody who sides with Canada internationally in a debate between the U.S. and Canada, say, Belgium, is somebody whose opinion we shouldn't care about in the first place.

Unless you know a lot more about something than I do, I am not really that interested. I have too much information already.

It is nice to be around people who think differently than you. They challenge your ideas and keep you from being complacent.

It is increasingly important to be open-minded.

I will say, the one thing Mexico does well is punish prisoners. They do. They're good at that.

I love the way you lit candles, with the insistence that I never look, just so I can open my eyes and find the light in the darkness.

Clarity of thought is a must for brevity in speech.

A united front announcing a split.

I have nothing to hide. I am a servant of the living God. He is the only one I answer to.

What is pink? A rose is pink By the fountain's brink.

If you're reading a comic strip, you can read it at any speed you want. But with film and music, the audience has to take it the way the composer gives it.

I have ended as a Reform Rabbi, grateful to Christianity for so many good things.

Through many afflictions we must enter into the kingdom of God ... It is folly to think to steal to heaven with a whole skin.

Necessity, oftener than facility, has been the mother of invention; and the most prolific school of all has been the school of difficulty.

The transitoriness of our existence in now way makes it meaningless. But it does constitute our responsibleness; for everything hinges upon our realizing the essentially transitory possibilities.