Animals are happier than humans because they're like furry little existentialists, all living in the moment. Their collective motto: live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking pelt.

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

the best existential analysis of the human condition leads directly into the problems of God and faith

The ostrich-approach of burying your head in the sand, when confronting your areas of weakness, becomes a self-set trigger for failure.

Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.

When you're 40, you can't ride the fence anymore. You gotta make definite decisions about your life.

Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.

The noble entitlement bespeaks an élan, a certain type of relationship with your partner. It means formidable technique not displayed lightly. The excitement comes from elegance.

A painter must think of everything he sees as being there entirely for his own use and pleasure.

Classic is our daring, classic our cowardice. Classic is our cruelty, classic our charity.

I want to be your personal penguin. Please?

I am very career minded, and I think my personality is more suited to America. I am a working mum.