Animals don't lie. Animals don't criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do.

People forget the good that zoos do. If it weren't for zoos, we would have so many species that would be extinct today.

If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty.

I'm a teenager trapped in an old body.

I may be a senior, but so what? I'm still hot.

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.

Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep. 9 if you're ugly.

We didn’t have Facebook in my day, we had a phone book but you wouldn’t waste an afternoon on it

I don't know how people get so anti-something. Just mind your own business, take care of your own affairs, and don't worry about other people so much.

The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well-being of others.

I'm not a relationship expert. I'm an expert on manhood.

I'm not running for state Senate because I wanted to become a politician. I'm running because I wanted to serve.

I won't go hunting with you, Jake, but I'll go chasing women.

Lovers may be and indeed generally are enemies, but they never can be friends, because there must always be a spice of jealousy and a something of Self in all their speculations.

Counter Girl (in candy shop): You two are cute. Seriously. How long have you been going out? Sam: Six years.

The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.

Who the Lord calls, the Lord will qualify.

It is with books as with the fires of our grates, everybody borrows a light from his neighbor to kindle his own, which in turn is communicated to others, and each partakes of all.