Animals have two vital functions in today's society; to be delicious and to fit well.

If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

No one is a natural - you have to work at being a natural.

Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!

A person who doesn’t understand both sides of an issue can’t relate to the side he is trying to sway, so his words will bounce off of them without leaving any impression.

We do not require company. In varying degrees, it bores us, drains us, makes our eyes glaze over. Overcomes us like a steamroller. Of course, the rest of the world doesn't understand.

The battle for women's rights has been largely won.

the only way to tolerate the thought of her mother sleeping with that man was to get drunk-very drunk.

Man is the only animal that when you pat him on the head, his head swells up.

I felt like a sinful person when I dated men and allowed them to feel for me in a way I knew I could never naturally feel for them. That felt wrong and a lie.

If you don’t have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don’t have much at all.

The need for bold and aggressive federal action to create jobs and restore confidence in our battered economy is clear.

The beginning and ending of the secret of handling Arabs is unremitting study of them.

Oh, I am in love with life!